1Man should remember certain Nayyarisms to better fulfill his life. 2Where a man travels depends on what he wears. 3The only way a man can hit a woman is a backhanded bitch slap, any other kind of hit is considered close to _______. 4If a glass of water is placed in front of you and you are asked if it is half full or half empty you should drink it all and ask for more. 5Never put all your money in one kind of stock market, diversify. 6Avoid the Pro-Physics philosophy, for it will weaken the mind and spirit. 7When listening and not knowing what the hell someone is saying, the correct thing to do is nod. 8Watching sports is the best thing to watch on TV, except for the occasional porn. 9When all else fails, follow the instructions. 10A man with a watch knows what time it is, a man with two watches is never sure. 11Woman inspires men to great things, and prevents men from achieving them. 12A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never her age. 13Women are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand. 14Definition of a wife: your bitter half.
2Women should also know Nayyarisms to better fill her life. 2When you have got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow. 3Every now and then man will stumble over the truth, but he will usually pick himself up and continue on. 4It works better if you plug it in. 5Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do. 6There is a blond joke that fits for every blond in the world. 7Women like silent men. They think they're listening. 8Give a man free hands and you'll know where to find them. 9Love is the answer. But while you're waiting for the answer, sex brings up some pretty good questions. 10Sex without love is an empty gesture. But as empty gestures go, it is one of the best. 19If you love something, turn it loose. If it doesn't come back, kill it! 20Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them.
3And Nayyar said: "read my teachings and you will be a wise follower" 2The lion and the calf might sleep together, but the calf won't have much sleep. 3Complex problems have simple, easy-to-understand wrong answers. 4If a wire or string has one end, then it has another. 5There is nothing more satisfying than someone taking a shot at you, and missing. 6If facts don't support your theory then get rid of them. 7The intelligence of the human race stays the same, but the population increases. 8An efficient government tends toward totalitarianism and an inefficient government tends toward democracy, therefore an inefficient government is the safeguard to freedom. 9Things that are equal to nothing else are equal to themselves. 10It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious. 11Anything can be made to work if you fiddle with it long enough. 12Men and women will act rationally when all else fails. 13Friendly fire ain't. 14If an experiment works, something has gone wrong. 15If mathematically you end up with the incorrect answer, try multiplying by the page number. 16An optimist believes we live in the best of all worlds, a pessimist fears that this is true. 17If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. 18There are exceptions to every rule, except this one. 19If a person feels he can't communicate, the least he can do is shut up about it. 20Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils. 21Never think of the future - it will come soon enough. 22Children in the front seat cause accidents, accidents in the back seat cause children. 23Living on Earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the Sun. 24It takes 8,460 bolts to assemble an automobile, and one nut to scatter it all over the road.
4The story of Bill. 2